Welcome Watch Aaaaaaaah! Merchandise About Derek Evans The Salon

Here are some of the other fantastic films made by Lincoln Studios. Or get yourself down to our very own youtube channel… Derek’s youtube channel

A simmering, sexually charged film that has got the whole of Lincoln hot under the collar!

Introducing RACHEL PROTON and PONY with hot-blooded performances that are definitely not suitable for under-18s!

Directed by STEVE AURA

DEREK SAYS...

‘An erotic film not just for the lads but for the lasses too. It had a great reception when it was shown at The Swan last week, from both sexes. Ron asked for it to be played seven times in a row! People said it was ironic because the two girls in the film are actually barred from the Swan for being gobby little so and sos and bringing in their own alcopops. But I say that’s exactly the kind of feistiness actresses like Sigourney Weaver or Charlise Theron would have shown in their younger days. So well done girls, the sky’s the limit for you both!’

Part 2 of the Ditch Trilogy.

Directed by STEVE AURA

Starring Chaka Grimshaw and Steve Aura

DEREK SAYS...

‘We filmed the Ditch Trilogy at Bloxholm Lane, Bracebridge Heath on a lovely day last summer. Our presence caused quite a stir and people came down to watch, creating a carnival atmosphere. Ron even turned up with a cask of real ale! At one point it got so boisterous and noisy that the sound man had enough and went and sat in the van. When Ron’s wisecracking and yelling of ‘cut!’ etc got too much for everyone I whisked him off to the Swan, then me and him ended up drinking cans back at the salon til about 2. What a great day, made even better by the delivery of my brand new Ergoline Avant Garde sunbed (with built-in sound system!)’


“There is no solitude greater than the samurai’s, unless perhaps it be that of a tiger in Lincoln.”

Introducing Lincoln new boy TUMAK, a man on a mission in this no-nonsense thriller...

Directed by STEVE AURA

Also starring Quiet Thompson, Rachel Proton, Chris Cuecamp.

DEREK SAYS...

‘I first met Tumak in Carpets 4 Less when I was in there with the wife. Tumak served us and was doing such a good job of looking happy about carpets I thought I’ll bet this lad is a f***ing brilliant actor. I wasn’t wrong. He is brooding and menacing, I can’t wait to see him do some martial arts in the future as he said he used to be a black belt before he hurt his back when a carpet fell on him.’

A thrills n spills action movie.

Directed by STEVE AURA

Starring Darren Jenkins, The Obelisk, Kaz, Jen, Chris Cuecamp, Emy & Obelisk jr.

DEREK SAYS...

‘I’m chuffed to bits that we’ve finally made a Lincoln studios action film! It stars two home grown action heroes familiar to anyone who goes out in Lincoln on a Friday or Saturday night. We all know The Obelisk who does the door at Pulse nightclub. He’s a great Lincoln character, a bloody man mountain but with a gentle heart. I’ve seen him chuck a man head-first down a stairwell one moment, then be blubbing his eyes out over a story some girl’s told him about a missing cat the next. He gives the perfect muscle man performance in ‘Towpath’, he’s so big we had to tilt the camera up!!!!... Then there’s Darren Jenkins who most people think is a nasty piece of work, always bottling people and going to prison. Ron gave me a load of gyp for putting Darren in the film, but I say give the lad a chance. Maybe if someone gave him a bit of encouragement once in a while he’d stop being such a c**t and do something worthwhile. And I was right. Darren gives an electric performance that’s both aggressive yet surprisingly sensitive - Darren will probably smash my face in for saying that!… With excellent supporting roles from Kaz and Jen who work for me at the salon – I said to them both “I’m not stupid, the till’s down 150 quid. I don’t care which one of you’s had the money but if you do the film then no questions asked”. I’d have paid them double that for the performances they both gave!... Plus finally of course a scintillating cameo from Chris Cuecamp, famously the only trained actor in my stable (Performing Arts BTEC, Lincoln College). Bloody hell, we had to spend ages waiting for him to decide his character’s ‘back story’ whatever that means (Darren said “I’ll give his back a story, it’s got a bloody knife in it!”) but it was worth it. Chris is absolutely mind-blowing in one of the most thrilling endings in cinema history. So sit back and enjoy the action!’

The first film in the Ditch Trilogy. A buddy movie set in the English countryside.

Directed by STEVE AURA

Starring Chaka Grimshaw and Steve Aura

DEREK SAYS...

‘Chaka has had a well documented fall from grace in recent weeks but I don’t think it’s my place to comment on that sad event. I’d rather just enjoy another fantastic performance from an actor at the height of his powers! All I will say is that the person who sold him the things he used is as guilty as him. I have known Colin Elliot since school days and he has always been a money-grabbing b***tard. Colin knew what Chaka was capable of, but when he saw the £20 note poor Chaka was waving at him he decided to throw the safety of the general public to the wind. Colin was like that in maths when he would wind me up by nudging me in the back with his foot continually until I flipped out and accidentally hit Julie Garden on the ear with my elbow and got suspended (sorry Julie!). Well Colin, who comes out of this the best? You with your twenty pounds? Or Chaka with this fantastic film?’


The final film in the Ditch Trilogy.

Directed by STEVE AURA

Starring Chaka Grimshaw and Steve Aura

DEREK SAYS...

‘Great work everyone involved in this trilogy. What a way to end the year. But the best news by far is that Chaka will be at home this xmas, as yours truly has managed to raise his bail money! So it’ll be me, the wife, Chaka and my lad Robert (if he turns up, honestly that kid is nothing but a bloody headache these days especially now he’s got his driving license, he’s costing me a bloody fortune in insurance!) all sat round the table raising a glass to Lincoln and our domination of the movie industry next year.’


A historical drama that will transport you back to a long forgotten past!

The tale of a devastating day of emotion, stunningly portrayed by Lincoln bad boy CHAKA GRIMSHAW.

Directed by STEVE AURA

Also starring Chris Cuecamp, Quiet Thompson, Rachel Proton.

DEREK SAYS...

‘Chaka is a real character, he is a bad boy in every sense of the word. He’s done some truly terrible things in real life but he has such a sweet and vulnerable side to him I just want to give him a hug, no matter what he’s done. I first met him when he held a knife to my throat in Morrisons car park. But instead of calling the police, I gave him a part in a film.’


Aaaaaaaah! Is out on DVD, Blu Ray and VOD….